Monday, April 16, 2018

"Except in cases of"? Can we talk? by Jennifer Christie

Let's talk about it.
The issue that frequently splits the pro life community-

Except In Cases Of...

*cue thunder*

Is this you? Do you make exceptions for abortion in certain cases? Are you one of those "I'm as pro life as they come, BUT.."
No, then. See, you're not.

Life has intrinsic value or it does not.
The problem is that the word "rape" is so loaded and conjurs such a visceral response that when the other side brings it up, our logic tends to muddy. We feel maybe this is the one time.... Maybe... After all- compassion. I was there. Then I crossed over to here. I became a statistic. When that happened, a lot of things became clear. Chief among them, we are being lied to.
I don't like being lied to. Keep reading. I'll explain.

4 years ago, I was raped. 3 years ago, I gave birth to a son conceived during that attack.

And nothing in my life has ever been the same.

I am proud to be #noexceptions #nocompromise #prolife

Disabusing the lies-

1. "But if she keeps the baby, she'll always have this reminder.."

Know what else? If she DOESN'T keep the baby, she'll always have a reminder. Without one of those Men in Black memory wiper gizmos, a survivor's memories of the attack are pretty much a parting gift you can count on. Although just as one's children from an abusive marriage are often seen as the bright spot to come from that union and cherished as such, so is the child from rape.

2. "She'll see her rapist's face in her child and hate the child."

Not typically. I can tell you that I know dozens of mothers from rape and have messaged with probably hundreds. Some have children who grow to look like their assailant. They may have to work through this internally but they've never turned on their child.
By this reasoning, ANY woman with resentment towards her husband is at serious risk of damaging her child. The smallest demographic that we'd need to be worried about is mothers from rape!
Therapy. Therapy can be your friend. I'm just saying.

3. "What woman would want to carry a "rapist's baby"??

(Hold me back.)
It's not woman, actually. It's WOMEN. 75-80% of the 32,000 women per year who become pregnant after sexual assault, bring their child into the world. Additionally there are women who immediately regret their abortions. The numbers keep growing.

4. "It would be so traumatic for her to carry the pregnancy."

To be clear: What we're saying with that statement is that a woman who has just suffered unspeakable violation and violence will be best served by...violence and death. Mmkay.
Either lie on a table and get ready for someone to once again invade your body, this time vacuuming out your child, piece by piece, and you're then left to cramp and bleed and think about what just happened..
you're given a pill where you can suffer cramping and bleeding alone as bits of your child slip from your body in small pieces over several hours or days and you may have to be vacuumed out anyway...
You're welcome. Let the healing begin.
To those who believe this is compassionate, does it sound more gentle than carrying unconditional love and innocence? Can you try to imagine how empowering it is to protect someone when you couldn't protect yourself?
(And there's really no other time in life when you have a legitimate excuse to request fried pickle chips for breakfast.)

5. "Thanks for giving birth to a future rapist, *$#@&!"

This is the most common criticism I get. (Sometimes "rapist" is replaced by "raper". You saw that right. Raper.)
The problem with it, other than - Ok, RUDE- is that it's completely unfounded. Raping isn't a genetic activity. There is no "rape gene".
Yes, I've read the 2014 study out of Finland that found that out of 900 violent criminals , 5-10 % had a certain combination of the same genes that researchers think might make someone more predisposed to violent behavior given poor lifestyle choices, upbringing, and environment.(From the research firm of 'Things That are Already Obvious' maybe?) It's like the psychiatric and medical community have concurred some time ago:
Rapists are made, not born.
Even if there were a genetic link, how does that justify abortion? We don't prosecute for crimes that could potentially be committed.

The 1% is 100% to someone.
They matter.
Won't you stand for them too?

Speak truth.
Love boldly.
Love louder.

Peace and blessings to you all today. ❤️

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Despite How My Baby Brother Was Conceived, I Love Him So Much, by Spencer -- Jennifer Christie's son

My name is Spencer.  I'm 18 years old, but I guess I'm not a typical 18 year old.  I prefer to stay close to home and be with my family.  You could say home is my safety net.  At home, I can be myself, which is sort of quirky.  I'm protective and respectful to the women of my life.  I never miss a chance to open a door or offer my coat to my mom or a girlfriend or my sister.  Aside from all that, I'm a little socially awkward and get nervous among crowds of people, so I'm not gonna be a pro-life speaker or anything like my mom does.  I'm a very anxious teenager, but again, with my family, I can explore the full depth of my personality -- it's that kind of home.  So I may not be a typical teenager, but my loved ones accept me for who I am and I really appreciate them.  My big passion is computer science.  I enjoy building and coding electronics and I'm an app developer.  My apps aren't very popular, but I enjoy making them.  That's a little about me and who I am.

I probably get my respect for women from my dad, and I aspire to be the man he is.  I especially respect my dad for handling everything with my mom's rape and resulting pregnancy the way he did.  If you ask me, he's what a real man looks like.

Each of my siblings handled my mom's attack differently and, considering how close my mom and I are, I took it pretty hard.  It just stayed in the back of my mind and I kept imagining myself being in my dad's position one day and how it would make me feel. 

I remember the day my mom came home from what seemed like a long business trip and as soon as I saw her walk through the front door, I knew our family would change forever.  She came in with this happy grin on her face. I hadn't seen that smile in a while -- not since before the attack; she had changed, but that minute, we had our bright mom back again.

My littlest brother at the time, Noah, (who's now 11,) ran up to greet her and she took his hand and put it on her stomach.  He didn't know what it meant at the time, but I did.  Noah just laid his face on her stomach. 

When my mom first told us she was pregnant, a lot of emotion ran through me -- excitement, hope, and worry.  My mom had a terrible time carrying Noah and we would be taking care of a newborn baby.  We were a family of 6 and things around our house could get so busy and wild.  But now, my beautiful, sweet, loving baby brother is just a part of that craziness.

It was about a year ago when my mom told me how the big blessing of our family came to be and the real reason we moved out of North Carolina.  It was a lot to handle for an already anxious 17 year old, but I accepted it.  She explained a lot to me -- how people treat children conceived in rape, how people believe abortion would be okay, and I said to my mom, "That's terrible!  The baby didn't do anything.  I can't imagine our family without him."  This fact doesn't make me look at my brother differently at all!  That's actually the only thing my brothers and sister and I agree on.  Despite how my baby brother was conceived,  I love him so much, as do all of my siblings.  This kid has been a blessing to our family.  I've always thought of him as a blessing. 

Not only did my little brother steal my heart, but I'm also so proud of my mom for using this tragedy she went through and using her story to save lives and inspire people.  My parents are really one of a kind.  I love them very much and I will always support my mom for the strong, proud, sweet woman she is. 

Abortion makes me sick, so I would also keep and love the baby, but my mom's rape still impacted me a lot.  I can't imagine the woman I love going through such trauma, but I love the way my dad handled it, and I want to grow up to be like him.  

BIO:  Spencer is the son of Jennifer Christie, Save The 1 pro-life speaker and blogger.  He has three brothers and one sister, and Spencer is not available for pro-life speaking.  ;-)

Friday, April 13, 2018

My Mom and Dad Forced an Abortion On Me to Protect Him, by Joyce Ann Born

I grew between West Virginia, Ohio and Oklahoma.  The first I can remember my dad molesting me is when I was four years old, living in Columbus, Ohio.  It was Christmastime and my mom was with my younger brother who was in the hospital with asthma.  We almost lost him.  I was home alone with my dad, on the basement steps with my back turned, and my dad was touching me inappropriately.  I didn’t like it, but I was afraid. 

My dad was a mean drunk, like the devil was in him.  On one occasion, my dad had me run up and down a hill with a little puppy, then he took that puppy and hung him right in front of me.  On another occasion, he told me he’d put a bunch of kittens in a bag and ran over them with his car.

Whenever my dad wanted to touch me, he was drinking whiskey and I had a feeling of dread come over my shoulders.  I never told anyone, but my mom eventually knew what was happening and she didn’t stop it.  In fact, at times, she was in bed with us when he was abusing me.  I remember it always hurt.

At the age of 11, I lost my virginity to my dad.  Again, I was afraid and confused.  I didn’t even understand what was happening.  My mom was in the room sitting at a table.  When he was done, he walked over to my mom and chastised her, “You let someone else get her before me.”   Then he started to beat on her.

The abuse went on for years, about four or five times a week.  When he would rape me, I would close my eyes, my body would go numb, and I would go somewhere else in my head.  I knew what he did to me was wrong and I felt different from others.  At a young age, I just thought that this must be how daddies love their daughters.  But around the age of 13, I realized that this is not the way things are supposed to be.  I began looking at boys and realized that normal attraction is toward people closer to your own age.  I liked boys my own age, and my dad should have only been attracted to my mom.

From a young age, I had become a loner.  I was a skinny little girl with long hair and sad eyes.  Other children made fun of me and I didn’t want to talk in front of others because I was bullied a lot.  I felt like my dad controlled me, and I felt dirty. 

In 1965, at the age of 14, I told my mom that I missed a period, but she just told me that it was okay and that it would come back.  But I missed it again and I knew that meant I could be pregnant.  That’s when my mom and dad took me a strange house in New Rome, a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.  I thought we were just visiting one of my dad’s friends. 

My mom told me everything would be okay.  I could hear my dad talking to this strange man.  Then my parents left me alone with him.  I was afraid and starting crying.  He took me down into his basement.  I remember he had a cloth with a strange odor that he put over my mouth, and then the next thing I knew, I woke up at home bleeding profusely out of my privates.  My mom had ice in bags that she was putting on me, with towels around me to soak up the blood.  I was confused at first and didn’t know what happened to me.  I didn’t know anything about abortions.  My mom never said a word to me about what was done to me.  Really, we never talked at all -- same thing with my dad.  We didn’t talk.

Within a week or two, he began raping me again, and it went on for another two years until I left home at the age of 16.  I met a man who was 21 years old who wanted to marry me.  My mom helped me to leave so that my dad would finally have sex with her. 

However, after I left home, my dad tried raping my 13 year old sister, but she was able to fight him off with the help of my two younger brothers and my mom, who ended up getting severely beaten by my dad.  Then my sister told a neighbor lady.  Knowing he would finally face arrest, he headed up into the hollers of West Virginia and they couldn’t find him.  My parents eventually divorced.

I felt terrible when I knew that they had fought so hard to protect my sister, but had not protected me.  I talked to my brothers about it, and they just said, “We were kids when this all started.  What we were going to do?”

Looking back, I realize now that my mom and dad had forced an illegal abortion upon me in order to protect him.  They didn’t want me to have a baby and have the truth come out that he was the father. I feel like I missed out on a blessing, even though this was my dad’s baby.  I grieve that I missed out on something.  I know I would have loved my baby.  It’s not the baby’s fault that my dad molested me.
My children are my life.  My son was born four days before my 17th birthday and from the beginning, I loved him completely.  My children come first in my life.  I am totally pro-life.  I took my daughter to the March For Life in Washington, D.C. when she was 14 years old.  Despite what I went through, I think I’d be pro-life regardless because I love babies.

Abortion is the end of a life – someone who is part of you.  It’s much better to carry a child and put him or her up for adoption.  Every child is a blessing from God.  My baby had a soul.  I feel sad and angry at what my mom and dad did to me – it wasn’t their right for me to be raped and it wasn’t their right to take that baby away from me.  One day, that baby will be in my arms.

It makes me upset when I hear people say that it’s necessary to have abortion legal in cases of rape or incest, but you need to think about what abortion does – it ends a life and it protects the perpetrator.  Even if a mom was taking a girl for an abortion, that could be like my mom who was just trying to protect my dad and herself, because she’d been letting him molest me for all of these years.

My mom and dad never apologized for everything they’d done to me.  I had gone nearly a dozen years without seeing him, but when I found out he was dying of cancer, I went to see him because I thought that no one should have to die alone.  I told him, “Dad, I forgive you for what you did to me.  I forgive you, not for you, but for myself.”  He surely heard me, but acted like he didn’t. 

I still struggle.  I have nightmares to this day and I’m still in therapy.  No one should ever have to go through what I went through, and I just hope that my story will help someone with their life – whether you have suffered abuse, whether you are a mom who is concerned about her husband or boyfriend’s behavior, or whether you’ve suffered an abortion.  No one deserves to be harmed.  Everyone should be able to live a peaceful life.

BIO:   A post-abortive survivor of incest, Joyce Ann Born is now a mother of two and a grandmother of six, residing in Ohio, and is now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1.